Andy Roddick loses again to Roger Federer
Roddick loses to Roger Federer at the Australian Open. American tennis star Andy Roddick can’t seem to beat Roger Federer. The thing Andy needs to realize, very few people have ever beaten Roger Federer and none of them are engaged to marry Brooklyn Decker.
So at the end of the day Roddick loses a tennis match and he goes home with fashion model Brooklyn Decker. Not exactly the worst deal I have ever seen.
I bet there are a lot of men on the tennis tour who would take that deal!
A few miscellaneous items
My wife went to the store last night and bought ice cream and toppings to make sundaes. I just want everyone to know; I am not putting something called “nut topping” on anything I eat.
I have a squirrel living in my back yard that warms his nuts on our dryer vent every time it snows.
I congratulate Serena Williams for playing the Australian Open so well with commentator Pam Shriver’s lips securely stuck to her over sized butt.
My friend, who can’t talk on a phone while he eats hash browns, called me to disagree. I ordered him a pizza and he said he would call me back later.
When will the LPGA realize no one wants to see ugly chicks play on TV?
Does Joe Francis ever look at Hugh Hefner and Larry Flint and think, “Rich or not, I am going to be a creepy old man someday”?
In a fair fight, between Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie, I don’t care who would win, I just want to watch.
I watch repeats of the 70′s Show and realize I am no longer Steven Hyde. I am now Red Foreman. But that’s OK because Hyde and his friends are dumb-asses.
If the government looks closely at my life I should be eligible for a disaster loan.
I notice if I put pictures of hot tennis chicks on my blog posts I get more hits.
Serena Williams disappoints me
Serena Williams beat Elena Dementieva in straight sets last night to advance to the finals of The Australian Open. In beating Dementieva she eliminated the only good looking player left in the tournament.
Serena will play Dinara Safina for the title. It’s not that Dinara is ugly but she does have a striking resemblance to a bull dog I once owned.
Oprah for Senate
It was reported that the big haired governor of Illinois was thinking about putting Oprah in the U.S. Senate. I think that is a great idea. I think anything that gets her Immenseness off of my TV is a great idea. Besides he was the one that was trying to charge for the seat and that large chocolate lady is loaded. He could of charged her a billion dollars and then bailed out a few companies. It might of saved him from impeachment.It’s funny how voters forget your indiscretions when you save their jobs.
So instead I am still stuck with seeing her when I channel surf during the afternoon.
Couldn’t they invent a V-Chip that censures big bags of wind?
Serena Williams
Serena Williams was saved by a roof in Australia. The chunky American star was getting run all over the court in the sweltering heat down under by a homely Russian looking player. Then came the save.
In some kind of math equation determination the Australian Open officials decided to close the roof and turn on the air conditioning. This not only made it easier to play for the over weight Serena but it also provided her huge behind with a 27 minute break.
She then took control of the match and won in three sets.
Williams will now play our favorite (left in the tournament)Elena Dementieva, the only remaining blonde hottie who beat Navarro in straight sets 6-2, 6-2 with an open roof. Obviously part of the equation is body mass percentage of the players.
Australian Open 2009 Quarterfinals Results: Elena Dementieva
Dementieva dominated the match from the outset as she hammered out ten aces and won 79 percent of her first serves that she put in play. Demenetieva had no problems handling the serve of Navarro as she broke the Spaniard on four of five occasions while never having her serve broke.
Australian Open 2009 Quarterfinals Results: Elena Dementieva
Elena Dementieva is my pick
Elena Dementieva is my new pick to win the Australian Open. I could tell you it is because of her powerful ground strokes or her devastating backhand. I could mention her foot speed or I could tell the truth. She is the best looking woman left in the tournament as I write this.
Pictures are worth a thousand hits
I have heard pictures are worth a thousand words. I don’t know if it is true but I know they are worth their weight in website hits. I know this because I can write a blog worthy of a Pulitzer Prize and I get a handful of hits but if I post a picture of Brooklyn Decker or Ana Ivanovic and ClubHusband’s page counter lights up like a pinball machine.
Could it be because my visitors are illiterate? No way, anyone smarter enough to read me must obviously be able to read. Could it be because my readers like pictures of hot tennis players like Ashley Harkleroad, better than they like the merits of mowing a lawn in a north, south pattern versus east, west? My guess would be yes.
Imagine that? Men and some women, would rather look at taut young athletic bodies than reading about short green plants that masquerade as my lawn.
I could say I don’t understand it but I am also one of those people. It is so much easier to look at Maria Sharapova than it is to follow my drivel before a third cup of morning coffee. Maria has long legs and blonde hair which make her easy on the eyes. My pontifications take some thinking to be appreciated even by me and I write this literary litter.
So I post pictures and hope while you are here, you will take the time to read my utterly fascinating posts on fire pit building or prime rib cooking, before you surf away in search of more Playboy pictures of Ashley Harkleroad or candid shots of Andy Roddick’s girlfriend, Brooklyn Decker.
My posts may not have long legs and blonde hair but after four cups of coffee you may find them amusing.
I know I do.
Jelena Jankovic upset in Australia
Jelena “The Body” Jankovic is the latest upset victim down under.
She was fortunate to win a game in the first set against Marion Bartoli during the 6-1, 6-4 upset in Rod Laver Arena.
This just about completes the ousting of every decent looking player in the first major of 2009.
Caroline Wozniacki loses this is just ridiculous
Caroline Wozniacki is the latest beauty to lose at the Australian Open. The delicious Dane was beaten by Jelena Dokic in three tough sets.
The Australian Open is becoming a nightmare for the glamour girls of tennis and we are poorer for it. If this keeps up we are going to be watching a final between Serena Williams and an over muscled teenager from Russia.
